May 25th, 2009 by Heidi

I’ve spent some time thinking today. I realize that the older I get, the more sentimental I grow. Today was no exception.

This is a day that the United States has set aside to remember our fallen soldiers and to celebrate our active soldiers – men and women that our entire nation has to thank for our freedoms. For many families it’s also a day to celebrate family with outings and picnics and fun. It’s also the kickoff to summer. [for those of us up here in the north, it's more like the official kickoff of spring, summer will happen tomorrow.]

Starting early this morning, Facebook was full of Happy Memorial Day wishes and those reminding us to remember what the day is all about. I took some time to think about the soldiers that I know that are active duty or active guard right now. People were commenting about their grandfathers and uncles and I had to stop and think a minute to remember if I had anyone in my family to celebrate Memorial Day for. Then I was really sad. I was sad for the not knowing which of my family members may have served in the military and then for actually having to take the time to remember that both of my parents served in the Navy.

Because I couldn’t remember, I had to ask my sister, “Did we ever celebrate our parents being in the service or did we just have family picnics?”  She never remembered anything beyond picnics and family time either. I know we didn’t talk about the war while we were growing up. And honestly, while we were kids, I don’t think that mattered to us. We waved our flags and we caught candy at the parade, we played with our cousins and ate watermelon until the sun went down.

I’m pretty sure my kids don’t even know that my parents served in the Navy. I don’t know that I’ve ever talked about it with them. It wasn’t something that was talked about with me, I just know that they were, so how can I talk about it with my kids?

And I can sort of understand why my parents didn’t want to talk about the service or the war. I know it was not a great time in their lives and maybe they didn’t feel so proud to be representing our country. But they did. They fought for us. They cared for the wounded. They served our country. And yet we never celebrated that. And I feel sad.

I almost emailed both of them today, wanting to avoid putting them on the spot with a phone call, and asked why we never acknowledged their time in the service. But I didn’t. I will save that for another day. Instead, I thought about the joy we used to have on this day and I took a drive with Hannah down to the cemetery where I knew the flags would be flying and families would be visiting their loved ones. I teared up several times. I’m so thankful to have not lost my parents and Hannah and I talked about how fortunate we feel to not have loved ones to visit in a cemetery. I have lost grandparents and an uncle, none of which are buried locally. We looked at all the flags and flower pieces. We admired headstones from the 1800’s. And I took this picture as we entered the cemetery.

I have some more thinking to do about this. My family is dear to me and I want them to celebrate and be proud. I want to wish them a Happy Memorial day and have it have meaning from both me and my kids.