May 10th, 2009 by Heidi

And for the second year in a row, my sons are not with me. It seems their other parent doesn’t respect the importance of the day for them or for me and has bribed them away on a weekend trip out of town. I was trying to be ok with this only because I have no desire to try to argue with him but because I have the boys with me much more than he has them with him and I have far more Mother’s Days than one  materialized by Hallmark. But then I woke up this morning and was reading my Facebook page and seeing how everyone else is spending their day is really depressing. I’m trying not to feel angry or bitter about my own situation and to be happy that I get to spend the day with Hannah and some with my own mom too. But I’m sad for my sons who are learning inadvertantly to think that this day isn’t important or that if they do think it is, their dad isn’t letting them spend the day with me.

Though before they left on Friday, the boys gave me gifts made in school. Dillan made several art pictures and gave me a painted pot full of violets. Connor gave me some special notes in a neat envelope book. And yesterday, after returning from her class trip to Minneapolis, Hannah surprised me with a cute card and a polar bear magnet from the gift shop at the zoo. She saved some of her eating money and took time to find me a little something all on her own. This warms my heart so much.

I love being a mom.  Well, most days anyway. There are those days that all chaos is taking over and I wonder what the heck I got myself into but those days are totally overshadowed by the fun and the joy and laughter we have. I love seeing who my kids are becoming – watching them strive and succeed and develop their own uniquensses. (is that a word? I hope it is. If not, it is now) I never imagined parenting would be so tiring and challenging. I never thought that doing so much for other people could be so exhausting and rewarding at the same time. But looking into all of their bright blue eyes and hearing them laugh and sharing their excitement puts me in a really happy place.

And I’m thankful to have my own mom just down the road from us. I’m glad she gets to share in the joy of my kids growing up and for being special in their lives. Tonight I’ll cook her some dinner.

And the sun is shining and the sky is blue and the air is fresh and I have my kiddos close to my heart even though they aren’t all here right now. I think we’ll have to do something special when they return.